im hungry in the middle of the night
and shmelly havent finish work yet
aarrggghhh !!
im super hungry
how to sleep ?
i want kfc
but is there night delivery ?
oh hag
nonet , stop it
food food food
nonstop
BABY !! I HUNGRY !!!!!!
tell alan and graham im dying
and come home now !!
aaaaaarrrrr
fainting now
*faints*

To you
Norshilah Goh Chin Fang
Will you still love me
if i were to be away
for a long time ?
Will your love for me change ?
Even for a bit ?
Are you willing to wait or me ?
Im scared that you will leave me
i cant stop crying the whole day
Thinking about my family and You
Dont worry
i still hold to my HAJAT
that i want to be on probation
im really in love with you
i havent met someone like you
you really change the way i see relationship
you were always there for me
you always gave in to me
and still love me the way you love me
eventho we argue alot
Baby , please promise me this
if things dont go our way
please stay at my place till im back
take care of my parents
treat them like yours
support mak for abit
dont change your number
take care of tateh for me
and this is important
please dont stop loving me
please dont go around declaring yourself
'single"
please wait for me
take care of my stuffs
end work , please go home straight
dont stop thinkin about me
and please jage diri baik baik
dont go work if youre sick ok ?
i love you
till my last breathe
i promise
but
now , lets all pray hard
let them know that i will and can behave during probation
ALLAH sahaje yang tau
kite mesti tawaqal dengan Dia
InsyaAllah
Dia mesti tolong Umatnya .
InsyaAllah ,
Amin .

Havent really meet

this kind of girl before tho

living with me

go thru ups and downs

and i mean really down

despite staying together

we argue

rarely see each other

i sleep , she come back from work

i wake up , she still sleeping

eat , sleep , off days together

hmmm

what else ?

the main thing is

i never met such a soulful mate

yup

i finally see the true one

im glad that we

manage to stay together for almost

7 months

yes

thank you

for convincing me

and make me love you even more

and without fail

thanks dear .

Oh Scarlett Johannson

Lawa nye kau

i realise something

i love artists with blonde hair

dont you think so ?

hmmmm

Duffy = blonde

scarlett johansson =blonde

jessica alba= almost blonde

miley= almost blonde(hannah omontana is blonde)

who else ?

but

scarlett johansson

in this Mango photoshoot

she is gorgeous

well well

how lucky is ryan reynolds huh ?

ok , before baby

gets annoyed by me

haha

i guess im just being over-protective
over my girlfriend
i mean , who doenst love their partner
aint it ?
im sorry baby
for giving you a hard time
but youre the first girlfriend who
is honest with me
faithful i must say
in one of her messages
she mention that she knew her limits and
knw se had a girlfriend
and is faithful to me
im grateful to hav you baby
i love you
and staying at the same place
still
i misss you
cos we barely se each other .
im sorry .
"i want to grow old with you "

is there any difference

before i went in ?

alhamdulillah

i gt my job back

supportive family

supportive gf

doa selamat went well

without anything interupting

i hope i can get it

cos i know i wont give

mrs mogan a hard time

prayinghard

from A-Z

she had been there for me

waiting 17days must been hard

as i was in

she cant even visit me

i want to thank her

for everything

even taking care of my parents while

im inside

i was wrong about her .

i used to think my Ex Gf

is the one

well

i so totally WRONG

shilah is the real one

i wanna grow old with you too

thank you

I aint giving up on us

i just want to be with you .

13/11/09 is what my hand tag written .
with my full name on it .
i told myself this
1/12/09 is the day im going out
and never to come back .
fuck CWP .

Im back from a place i shouldnt be at in the first place .
being remanded for 17days is hell .
these questions is always lingering in my mind .
is my parents ok ?
what time is it now ?
what is my family doing ?
what is she and how is she doing ?
yes
everyday without fail
it appeared in my mind
and now that im out , ive pledge to become
someone more than i used to be .
responsible daughter and hardworking daughter .
for my parents that cant even lay eyes on food
and not sleeping well
and for my siblings that took off just to
accompany me thru visits .
ive pledge to do so .
InsyaAllah . i know ,he's guiding me along .
He showed me  alot inside .
i pray to him so that i can smile while
waiting for 1st dec , He gave me the strength to do so .
i pray to ask for his protection and protectmy family
He did .
i pray so that He could give me patience
He did .
He is so great , never failed to be there for me
and guide me along .


17days is hell to me .
i dont know how the hell im gonna survive there
everything seems blur to me .
without my specs on , no sense of time .
NOTHING . ZERO knowledge .
all i could think of is my parents .
but Alhamdulillah .
the people inside there took care of me for 14 days
taught me things so i wont get bullied easily
in fact , i didnt get bullied at all
ALHAMDULILLAH , AMIN .
the last three days was shocking .
i was transferred to YP block .
YP means young prisoner .
and i stayed in a cell with 4 wonderful friends
sotong , naz and boy .
just so you know , being in there for a few days together
you can get close easily .
we stare blank walls togther
talk about our probs together
eat together
sleep together
sing together
BATH together
most of all
cry together
but its not worth it to be in there
and please imagine that i was it in my head
so hard that i never wanna go back in .
its like someone hit my head with a metal pole .
that is the place thati wont never ever stepped in again .
once is enough .

ihad enough .
ive learnt alot .
and im closer to HIM now .
im sure HE will always be there for me
cos only me and HIM knows that
im sincere to change for the better .
i dont mind losing friends that knows i went in before .
cos all i need is my family
and supportive friends
like ati and epul
wak , yat and aza .
and i dont need friends who made my mom
lose her precious thing just to cover your fcuking butt .
its gonna take me sometime to
forgive you but not very soon .
He knows what He's doing to you .


let me tell you this ,
think before you do something
cos its worthless to be in there
learn your lesson out here
not in there
treasure and cherish family
cause at the end of the day
they are our blood ties .
mine is blessed by HIM .
i love them all
AMIN .

ok , im super tired .
work had been fun if there is no
fanatic around .
geeeee , i cant believe i fell for what she "promised" me
people pissed the shit out of me .
seriously , ask yourself if im worth your
friendship . .
i bet you know how well i treat my friends
just that they left me because of my stupid problem
and you leaving too ?
k best .
....
...
B4 became like a ghost town just now .
till 7pm , sales was only $730
may be its becaus its raining ?
or people dont fancy Korean food that much ?
i dont know but im glad blood was around to accompany
me go smoke , and at my store .
she's happy at Dolce .
and after work , went to meet anaconda .
haha
annoying good friend of mine .
im glad im woking at a place where mostly
with people i know around me.
speaking of which , i miss ryn rynn
me and ana was talking about her .
...
,....
tmrw ,
court day .
please pray the best for me .
Amin .
no mood .
waiting for babe to come home .
and im super sleepy .

It's late at night and I can't sleep

Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile


Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying



Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us




I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes


The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

the love song

just so you know
you owe it all
you do have the rights
to do anything
dump it , love it , care it
kick it
anything
cos you owe it
the reason i have good night sleep

under one roof
makes i alot more better
do you know
do you know
i guess you dont

ego strikes , we lose
but just so you know
yo owe it all
yes
you owe it all

and there for
three words for you to figure out
and tell me if yu feel the same way too

if i’m a bad person, you don’t like me

i guess i’ll make my own way
it’s a circle
a mean cycle
i can’t excite you anymore
where’s your gavel? your jury?
what’s my offense this time?
you’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me
well sentence me to another life.



don’t wanna hear your sad songs
i don’t wanna feel your pain
when you swear it’s all my fault
cause you know we’re not the same,
we’re not the same
oh we’re not the same
ya, the friends who stuck together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can’t accept that the change is good (hey)
it’s good (hey)
it's good


you treat me just like another stranger
well it’s nice to meet you sir
i guess i’ll go
i best be on my way out


ignorance is your new best friend






this is the best thing that could’ve happened
any longer and i wouldn’t have made it
it’s not a war no, it’s not a rapture
i’m just a person but you can’t take it
the same tricks that, that once fooled me
they won’t get you anywhere
i’m not the same kid from your memory
well now i can fend for myself




don’t wanna hear your sad songs
i don’t wanna feel your pain
when you swear it’s all my fault
cause you know we’re not the same,
we’re not the same
oh we’re not the same
ya, we used to stick together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can’t accept that the change is good (hey)
it’s good (hey)
it's good


you treat me just like another stranger
well it’s nice to meet you sir
i guess i’ll go
i best be on my way out


ignorance is your new best friend




you treat me just like another stranger
well it’s nice to meet you sir
i guess i’ll go
i best be on my way out

gimme 4fingers dude !
loving my new work
just that this matrep namely asrul
annoys the shit out of me .
cant update much
please do read the lyrics on my next post
its especially for you , friend
AMEK KAU hypocrite

ok
my mom just threw a pillow right at my face .
cos i was singing loudly after mahgrib and she
was talking to her friend .
its painful ma .
i was singingto my song at my blogger ,
DEMOLITION LOVERS .
i was screaming at the top of my lungs
"IM TRYING , IM TRYING
TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCHYOU MEANT"
heh
anyways , im addicted to cafe world and fish a fish .
spent 5hours on my notebook yesterday
to make new recipes and catch fishes
heh !
was back from work orentation early tho .
training starts tmrw morning .
erm , my workplace is fun tho .
they allow tattoo and piercing .
uniforms are from UniClo
cool huh ?
they wants us to be ourselves whilst working
and my big boss wore the same Aldo shoe that i got .
and they are by far the most
happening boss ive seen .
you guys should come over and see the store
its totally New York taste tho .
its called
4fingers Bonchon Chicken
located at ION Orchard B4 .
its opening around november .
hopefully i can prosper with them tho .
i need this and i have it .
and i want to hold it tight .
wish me luck ok

Im mad cos i was supposed
to be visiting Mama (lina's mom)
and visit ryan .
but everything was cancelled due to
lin not replying to me
afraid her bf might "ASK" .
what the hell
hello , what if someone is DYING
and youre happily out ?
think larh
pekak
and im stucked at home
feeling guilty to all the people ive made promise
t visit
. no mood alright
fuck fuckity fuck larh .
shit feeling .
tmrw first day at work
i dont want to hear anything from you .
just put your status as M.I.A for now
i hate to see your stinking guts

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO
IIDUUH BABY !!
SELAMAT HARI TUE SAYANGKU
YANG FULL OF CRAP
I MISS YOU LOT FRIEND
CHEERS T OUR FRIENDSHIP
THAT IS WAY COOLER THAN A RELATIONSHIP
AINT IT ?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE !
TELL MIRA TO MEET UP SOON OK
LOVE YOU !!
p/s: nak kahwin , bilang , aku nak jadi maid of honour :D

you guys should have probably known this
Nonet dont listen to malay songs
lagi lagi JIWANG
aiyoyoyo
no , the world can go terbalek
cos im stuck to this song
hanya kau mampu by aizat .
oh well
the lyrics seems deep
if im not lazy , i will
turn the lyrics to english version
yeap
oh well , the deal is on
who wanna bring up the past ?
the past is sucha headache aint it ?
im ready to be like ain
but lets make a slow start
gradually , i will be yor number one friend and ain
number two haha
k best , we've both kicked each other butt to
let our anger out with regards of yesterday
welcome aboard my friend
together , we embark this lion city
oh heck !
im going for a swim now ,
chiow !

MARLINA ATAN
why must there be a hatred in our
lame friendship ?
huh ?
why hate me so much ?
i initiate the break up , aint i ?
youre happy when i do that ?
you dont even feel sad , you dont even shed a single tear
im sure you glad that its over.
aint it ?.
then why hate me so much ?
why hate me so much ?
all i asked for ,
a stupid and lame friendship from you
a family closed friend
thats all
what is it so hard for you ?
huh ?
having a bf is not the point
ape ? takot matair tau about me ?
bullshit
i wont even bother to look at him
cos he's someone who replace me
but who cares !
youre lying to me as usual
asal eh ?
gambar buang
ddengki nah ?
best pe
ni panggil kawan ?
 gambar ?
thanks

th last thing i eed you to do
is shut your fucking mouth
and go away .
simple ?
i bet it is
now , be good
scoot , scoot
shhhoooo !!
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
NO WAY !!

hello. bye. :) take care.

sorry that i havent been blogging
for quite sometime
life is not good for me now
im sucha useless person now
waiting for my fate to be decide
soon enough
im sorry to everyone that is disappointed in me
this is the first and the last shit im gonna do
im sorry .
will you guys be able to accept me still ?

its a love game
something arent meant to be
so , here is the facts that im laying out


and dear friends
please pray the best for me
will you guys accept me again
if im really going in ?
doa kan net ok
im sorry to disappoint you guys damn lot ,

alhamdulillah , everything went smoothly
nenek's death really wake me up
to something about abah side family
my three uncles that i havent seen for
a decade
are all together again
Like fantastic four
im out of words for now
i have my problem to worry about
Al-Fateha
Amin

Rest In Peace

nenekku

Rokiah binte Mokmin

im sorry for not visiting you

for the past 6years

but nevertheless

you'll always be in my heart

I will miss you dearly

and will always love you nenek

Semoga ALLAh mencucuri rohnya

Al-Fateha

Amin

yes , i can never understand girls
will never undertand
i wonder
when im tryin to be nice
i was accused for not being understanding
fine
watever you peopl say or think
i dont care
i do understand but you people take it the other way round
so fuck 
be it
leave it
it doesnt always have to be me
ou people dont understand me either

this is what happened if you drank
-half can of anchor
-a jug of redbull vodka that finished less than 3minutes
-sips of best friend burbon coke
-1st round of tequila shot
-sips of new friend zid burbon coke
-finish up best friend burbon coke
-2nd round of tequila
-sips of zid's dont know what drink
-zid treat me to magenta(vodka shot 40%alchohol)
-the last sip of whatever bomb they call that drink


and of cos not all i drink at once
go with the flow
and im fucking hang over now
have yet to throw up
the reason i went DBL O
my best friend epul asked
to tag along
so there's
me , ati , epl , ayu , mas , mamat , zid and afiq
i love my new friends who can accept me
for who i am
zid and mat was fcukin rock
haha
ati bloody when off first
and i , now , at 11:51am
still try to throw up but to no avail
crapp
and to the chinese girl
who wore the la senza top
i guess not fated but
i made an effort to find you
and the malay girl wearing white top
who dance with me
i dont know your name
smokin' HOT
and ifah , era's lil cousin
nice to see you again
i hate DBL O but
it happened there
and i wont forget

yan , net , wak

the all time favourite senget best friends i could
ever asked for
7 years and counting
ive been thru funny and stupid moments with them
SUSHI BOIS

there's something about my life
that most of my friends doenst know
its hard living my life
my ex gf thinks im a failure
i didnt fullfilled my needs to be done
i didnt make her happy
at all
and i starting to hate myself too like how she's hating me
....
i shall stop bragging about her
my life suck big time
i can never be nice or i can never make
someone happy when they are with me
just whats wrong with me ?
am i that bad ?
yes i am
my own friends are better than me
i can never find someone who can tolerate  me
i gave up with myself
i can never be good
people will never believe me
why is it so hard leading my life ?
why cant i just be happy with someone
whom i can love and love me back dearly ?
enough said
im afraid to go in another relationship
cos im afraid that ive been played again
twice is enough
and i dont wanna be in love again
love hit me like a bowling that hits the pin down
it hit me hard
and i can just fall flat on my face
thanks for letting me know that you hate me
and making me realise that im a big time failure

seems like someone dont believe me
thinks im joking
and how the hell hot pants get in the story
dier dah larh mangkok
....
....
was looking forward to this weekend
please think of a place to eat
and jangan nak cheeky alright
thanks
prepaid left with nothing
cos of you !!
but to think again
it was worth it after all

Hand in mine, into your icy blues

And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway

With this trunk of ammunition too

I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying

To let you know just how much you mean to me

And after all the things we put each other through

and

I would drive on to the end with you

A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full

And I feel like there's nothing left to do

But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it

I'll let you know just how much you mean to me

As snow falls on desert sky

Until the end of everything

I'm trying, I'm trying

To let you know how much you mean

As days fade, and nights grow

And we go cold

Until the end, until this pool of blood

Until this, I mean this, I mean this

Until the end of...

I'm trying, I'm trying

To let you know how much you mean

As days fade, and nights grow

And we go cold

But this time, we'll show them

We'll show them all how much we mean

As snow falls on desert sky

Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are

Is bullets I mean this

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms

Forever, forever

Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning

Forever, and ever

Know how much I want to show you you're the only one

Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood

And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down

And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down

I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood

I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever

YAN TOT IS BCK !!!!!
weeehoooo
what a pleasant surprise
haha
and
cant wait for to see wak's expression
haha
and yes
its nice talking to you again
hope this weekend will be on yeap ?

let me tell you something

after F1

ive became darker than ever

is back to my real

square one

BLEARRGGGGHHHH

if my ex partners to read this
they know what to call me
Cacat
know why ?
cos i broke my lil finger and the bone along it
like almost 2 years ago
reason why i post this
my lil finger still hurts till now
for now , its hurts so bad
but i just ignore the pain
but to the extend , the fractured
area is like having a heartbeat in it
it hurts so badly
feel like crying
cos i cant tahan
the pain is the same like
the day of accident
haix
bandage , soon .

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone


Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

my notebook just recovered
and its back to square one
all my pics , songs and MOVIES
are deleted
BESTTTT doh !!
i wanna find external hard drive
so , whatever happen tothis fcuking notebook
i dont need to worry about losing my stuffs
and lucky my facebook is where i always
upload my pics
yes !
not to worry about anything now
just wait for the money
to flow in and get that
external hard drive
and ive found the place
where they sell cheaper G-Shock
im gonna get myself one
and my next pay
im gonna repay her kindness
by getting her one too
soon soon soon
im gonna work a thrice as hard as ever
SINGLE PE !
KEJE AAAHHH !!

im sick of standing for
12 hours three days straight
im left foot heel is bruised
my knee is bruised
im having a bad headache
fever that is high as 38.5 yesterday
today it went down to 37
and i sweat abit
thats a good sign
and i have diarhhoe
due to the fucking food the supplier sent
the rice is all sticky
but we are super hungry
what to do , we just have to eat
and the stupid fucking housekeeping guy
fucking throw my food
jsut because he's not happy
that he cant stand there
eh fucker , im doing my job
if you dont move , i kena fuck by my 
in-charge not you
and fuck you , i see you outside 
im sure gonna catch you and your contraband
youre fucking and messing with the wrong P.O
 after the race things got messy
we bacame human barrier
me and my partner and three APOs
and my APO in-charge ran away from us
cos too many patron
fucking coward
all the angmohs are drunk
and they became violent
i was pushed by this guy that looks like
brock lesner
lucky i know how to block with my T baton
and one angmoh said
come my son , come home with mommy and daddy
and even hugged me and wanna give me 200bucks
as my allowance
if there is no APO
i already take it
but too bad
not my rezeki
enough said
need my rest
whole body aching