To you
Norshilah Goh Chin Fang
Will you still love me
if i were to be away
for a long time ?
Will your love for me change ?
Even for a bit ?
Are you willing to wait or me ?
Im scared that you will leave me
i cant stop crying the whole day
Thinking about my family and You
Dont worry
i still hold to my HAJAT
that i want to be on probation
im really in love with you
i havent met someone like you
you really change the way i see relationship
you were always there for me
you always gave in to me
and still love me the way you love me
eventho we argue alot
Baby , please promise me this
if things dont go our way
please stay at my place till im back
take care of my parents
treat them like yours
support mak for abit
dont change your number
take care of tateh for me
and this is important
please dont stop loving me
please dont go around declaring yourself
'single"
please wait for me
take care of my stuffs
end work , please go home straight
dont stop thinkin about me
and please jage diri baik baik
dont go work if youre sick ok ?
i love you
till my last breathe
i promise
but
now , lets all pray hard
let them know that i will and can behave during probation
ALLAH sahaje yang tau
kite mesti tawaqal dengan Dia
InsyaAllah
Dia mesti tolong Umatnya .
InsyaAllah ,
Amin .

Havent really meet

this kind of girl before tho

living with me

go thru ups and downs

and i mean really down

despite staying together

we argue

rarely see each other

i sleep , she come back from work

i wake up , she still sleeping

eat , sleep , off days together

hmmm

what else ?

the main thing is

i never met such a soulful mate

yup

i finally see the true one

im glad that we

manage to stay together for almost

7 months

yes

thank you

for convincing me

and make me love you even more

and without fail

thanks dear .

Oh Scarlett Johannson

Lawa nye kau

i realise something

i love artists with blonde hair

dont you think so ?

hmmmm

Duffy = blonde

scarlett johansson =blonde

jessica alba= almost blonde

miley= almost blonde(hannah omontana is blonde)

who else ?

but

scarlett johansson

in this Mango photoshoot

she is gorgeous

well well

how lucky is ryan reynolds huh ?

ok , before baby

gets annoyed by me

haha

i guess im just being over-protective
over my girlfriend
i mean , who doenst love their partner
aint it ?
im sorry baby
for giving you a hard time
but youre the first girlfriend who
is honest with me
faithful i must say
in one of her messages
she mention that she knew her limits and
knw se had a girlfriend
and is faithful to me
im grateful to hav you baby
i love you
and staying at the same place
still
i misss you
cos we barely se each other .
im sorry .
"i want to grow old with you "

is there any difference

before i went in ?

alhamdulillah

i gt my job back

supportive family

supportive gf

doa selamat went well

without anything interupting

i hope i can get it

cos i know i wont give

mrs mogan a hard time

prayinghard

from A-Z

she had been there for me

waiting 17days must been hard

as i was in

she cant even visit me

i want to thank her

for everything

even taking care of my parents while

im inside

i was wrong about her .

i used to think my Ex Gf

is the one

well

i so totally WRONG

shilah is the real one

i wanna grow old with you too

thank you

I aint giving up on us

i just want to be with you .

13/11/09 is what my hand tag written .
with my full name on it .
i told myself this
1/12/09 is the day im going out
and never to come back .
fuck CWP .

Im back from a place i shouldnt be at in the first place .
being remanded for 17days is hell .
these questions is always lingering in my mind .
is my parents ok ?
what time is it now ?
what is my family doing ?
what is she and how is she doing ?
yes
everyday without fail
it appeared in my mind
and now that im out , ive pledge to become
someone more than i used to be .
responsible daughter and hardworking daughter .
for my parents that cant even lay eyes on food
and not sleeping well
and for my siblings that took off just to
accompany me thru visits .
ive pledge to do so .
InsyaAllah . i know ,he's guiding me along .
He showed me  alot inside .
i pray to him so that i can smile while
waiting for 1st dec , He gave me the strength to do so .
i pray to ask for his protection and protectmy family
He did .
i pray so that He could give me patience
He did .
He is so great , never failed to be there for me
and guide me along .


17days is hell to me .
i dont know how the hell im gonna survive there
everything seems blur to me .
without my specs on , no sense of time .
NOTHING . ZERO knowledge .
all i could think of is my parents .
but Alhamdulillah .
the people inside there took care of me for 14 days
taught me things so i wont get bullied easily
in fact , i didnt get bullied at all
ALHAMDULILLAH , AMIN .
the last three days was shocking .
i was transferred to YP block .
YP means young prisoner .
and i stayed in a cell with 4 wonderful friends
sotong , naz and boy .
just so you know , being in there for a few days together
you can get close easily .
we stare blank walls togther
talk about our probs together
eat together
sleep together
sing together
BATH together
most of all
cry together
but its not worth it to be in there
and please imagine that i was it in my head
so hard that i never wanna go back in .
its like someone hit my head with a metal pole .
that is the place thati wont never ever stepped in again .
once is enough .

ihad enough .
ive learnt alot .
and im closer to HIM now .
im sure HE will always be there for me
cos only me and HIM knows that
im sincere to change for the better .
i dont mind losing friends that knows i went in before .
cos all i need is my family
and supportive friends
like ati and epul
wak , yat and aza .
and i dont need friends who made my mom
lose her precious thing just to cover your fcuking butt .
its gonna take me sometime to
forgive you but not very soon .
He knows what He's doing to you .


let me tell you this ,
think before you do something
cos its worthless to be in there
learn your lesson out here
not in there
treasure and cherish family
cause at the end of the day
they are our blood ties .
mine is blessed by HIM .
i love them all
AMIN .