from A-Z

she had been there for me

waiting 17days must been hard

as i was in

she cant even visit me

i want to thank her

for everything

even taking care of my parents while

im inside

i was wrong about her .

i used to think my Ex Gf

is the one

well

i so totally WRONG

shilah is the real one

i wanna grow old with you too

thank you

I aint giving up on us

i just want to be with you .

13/11/09 is what my hand tag written .
with my full name on it .
i told myself this
1/12/09 is the day im going out
and never to come back .
fuck CWP .

Im back from a place i shouldnt be at in the first place .
being remanded for 17days is hell .
these questions is always lingering in my mind .
is my parents ok ?
what time is it now ?
what is my family doing ?
what is she and how is she doing ?
yes
everyday without fail
it appeared in my mind
and now that im out , ive pledge to become
someone more than i used to be .
responsible daughter and hardworking daughter .
for my parents that cant even lay eyes on food
and not sleeping well
and for my siblings that took off just to
accompany me thru visits .
ive pledge to do so .
InsyaAllah . i know ,he's guiding me along .
He showed me  alot inside .
i pray to him so that i can smile while
waiting for 1st dec , He gave me the strength to do so .
i pray to ask for his protection and protectmy family
He did .
i pray so that He could give me patience
He did .
He is so great , never failed to be there for me
and guide me along .


17days is hell to me .
i dont know how the hell im gonna survive there
everything seems blur to me .
without my specs on , no sense of time .
NOTHING . ZERO knowledge .
all i could think of is my parents .
but Alhamdulillah .
the people inside there took care of me for 14 days
taught me things so i wont get bullied easily
in fact , i didnt get bullied at all
ALHAMDULILLAH , AMIN .
the last three days was shocking .
i was transferred to YP block .
YP means young prisoner .
and i stayed in a cell with 4 wonderful friends
sotong , naz and boy .
just so you know , being in there for a few days together
you can get close easily .
we stare blank walls togther
talk about our probs together
eat together
sleep together
sing together
BATH together
most of all
cry together
but its not worth it to be in there
and please imagine that i was it in my head
so hard that i never wanna go back in .
its like someone hit my head with a metal pole .
that is the place thati wont never ever stepped in again .
once is enough .

ihad enough .
ive learnt alot .
and im closer to HIM now .
im sure HE will always be there for me
cos only me and HIM knows that
im sincere to change for the better .
i dont mind losing friends that knows i went in before .
cos all i need is my family
and supportive friends
like ati and epul
wak , yat and aza .
and i dont need friends who made my mom
lose her precious thing just to cover your fcuking butt .
its gonna take me sometime to
forgive you but not very soon .
He knows what He's doing to you .


let me tell you this ,
think before you do something
cos its worthless to be in there
learn your lesson out here
not in there
treasure and cherish family
cause at the end of the day
they are our blood ties .
mine is blessed by HIM .
i love them all
AMIN .

ok , im super tired .
work had been fun if there is no
fanatic around .
geeeee , i cant believe i fell for what she "promised" me
people pissed the shit out of me .
seriously , ask yourself if im worth your
friendship . .
i bet you know how well i treat my friends
just that they left me because of my stupid problem
and you leaving too ?
k best .
....
...
B4 became like a ghost town just now .
till 7pm , sales was only $730
may be its becaus its raining ?
or people dont fancy Korean food that much ?
i dont know but im glad blood was around to accompany
me go smoke , and at my store .
she's happy at Dolce .
and after work , went to meet anaconda .
haha
annoying good friend of mine .
im glad im woking at a place where mostly
with people i know around me.
speaking of which , i miss ryn rynn
me and ana was talking about her .
...
,....
tmrw ,
court day .
please pray the best for me .
Amin .
no mood .
waiting for babe to come home .
and im super sleepy .

It's late at night and I can't sleep

Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile


Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying



Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us




I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes


The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

the love song

just so you know
you owe it all
you do have the rights
to do anything
dump it , love it , care it
kick it
anything
cos you owe it
the reason i have good night sleep

under one roof
makes i alot more better
do you know
do you know
i guess you dont

ego strikes , we lose
but just so you know
yo owe it all
yes
you owe it all

and there for
three words for you to figure out
and tell me if yu feel the same way too

if i’m a bad person, you don’t like me

i guess i’ll make my own way
it’s a circle
a mean cycle
i can’t excite you anymore
where’s your gavel? your jury?
what’s my offense this time?
you’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me
well sentence me to another life.



don’t wanna hear your sad songs
i don’t wanna feel your pain
when you swear it’s all my fault
cause you know we’re not the same,
we’re not the same
oh we’re not the same
ya, the friends who stuck together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can’t accept that the change is good (hey)
it’s good (hey)
it's good


you treat me just like another stranger
well it’s nice to meet you sir
i guess i’ll go
i best be on my way out


ignorance is your new best friend






this is the best thing that could’ve happened
any longer and i wouldn’t have made it
it’s not a war no, it’s not a rapture
i’m just a person but you can’t take it
the same tricks that, that once fooled me
they won’t get you anywhere
i’m not the same kid from your memory
well now i can fend for myself




don’t wanna hear your sad songs
i don’t wanna feel your pain
when you swear it’s all my fault
cause you know we’re not the same,
we’re not the same
oh we’re not the same
ya, we used to stick together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you can’t accept that the change is good (hey)
it’s good (hey)
it's good


you treat me just like another stranger
well it’s nice to meet you sir
i guess i’ll go
i best be on my way out


ignorance is your new best friend




you treat me just like another stranger
well it’s nice to meet you sir
i guess i’ll go
i best be on my way out

gimme 4fingers dude !
loving my new work
just that this matrep namely asrul
annoys the shit out of me .
cant update much
please do read the lyrics on my next post
its especially for you , friend
AMEK KAU hypocrite